Color Blind

Being a parent is by far the hardest challenge in life, I would say.  I think about the big picture.  I worry about how Finn will be 20 years from now. I wonder how what I say or do today will shape him tomorrow.  I have never wanted Finn to identify people by their race.  I had (and still do) that grand dream that my child will grow up "color blind."


I have many times over the past few months, for the first time in my 29 years of life, been the only white person in the room or on the metro.  I am so glad that at almost 3 years old Finn has already had that.  To him it wasn't an event. To him it didn't feel like anything. To me it did. It felt wrong to know that for 29 years I had not once been the minority.  Living in a different part of the country has definitely allowed Finn to grow up around a more diverse group of people.  I hope that this has some how shaped him for the future.


I have loved getting to see Finn become friends with all sorts of people.  Did I ever think my son would have a friend from Iraq?  That is the beautiful thing about this area.  There is literally someone from everywhere here. I enjoy walking down the streets and hearing the sounds of different languages being spoken.  I love that several people I know here have asked me , "Do you know Spanish?"  When I say "a little" they get excited and say, "man I wish I knew Spanish!"

The other evening I was trying to get Tosh to remember some people in our building. I went on for a long time explaining that one time they had been at the front desk when we were heading out. I described the clothes they were wearing. He couldn't place who I was talking about.  Finally, I looked at him and mouthed "wheelchair."   The man is in a wheelchair.   He said "oh yeah I know who you are talking about."  The reason I hadn't said it it because I didn't want Finn to see that example.  That guy is not "the guy in the wheelchair." He has a name, I do not know what it is, but maybe he is Jeff or Tom.

Being a parent is so challenging when you know that everything you say and do is being watched. I am so grateful for the time we have spent in a different city. I am grateful for all the different people we have come across.  This opportunity has had a huge impact on how I will raise Finn and the dreams I have for him.